why does nothing always trump insecurity?

I consider myself to be a fairly confident person; though I, like the average person I’m assuming, am not immune to a little bit of insecurity at times.  It’s odd things mostly: the size of my hands(I wish for petite little hands, instead I was blessed with, what most people say “You have piano hands, Darling”…and I don’t even play piano..maybe I should have) along with other petty physical things (that I am sure, once fixed, I would resemble Melissa George, my favorite), the terrible thing that is my memory(I am most certain that is it rapidly decreasing at frightening speeds every second, and I’m still young yet!!) and my lack of focus(I swear I have ADD or some such dysfunction of the mind).

Aside from those things I am pretty confident all around; confident in my ability to capture and hold the attention of someone I have just met, confident that I can work hard and get things done, confident that I am beautiful in spite of my imperfections, confident that I am fun to be around, confident that I am trustworthy and can help people just by talking to them(people usually just need someone to listen). All that being said, I never wanted to come across as snobbish in my good amount of self esteem so think about this: one of my old manager’s once stated “There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance”. I whole-heartedly believe that. I am not arrogant in my confidence; I am simply sure of myself. I do not consider myself to be above anyone else.

Someone recently asked me where I got my confidence from… I didn’t really know how to answer other than to say “Love people and they will love you back. When you know you are loved; it helps.”

You can’t just take what I said and buy gifts for people to “buy their affection” or manipulate. People can tell when you’re being fake and when you’re being genuine. So I mean really love people; like Christ did. I know there will be days when it seems like love is not the first thought in your head (i.e. so stressed you blow steam and by steam I mean fire at anyone who comes across your path) but if you’ll get this down and put love into practice, you might just find yourself developing more confidence..and UN-developing that insecurity that seemed to be your master. Just a thought.

About aphromite

I only live to serve something. I only give to help something. I do right because wrong never did anything good.
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